9 Pink Diamonds is moving to another blog home… BLOGGER.  You can now find my blog at www.9PinkDiamonds.blogspot.com

Unfortunately, I don’t know how to just export this whole blog over there so I am reposting every article to post everyday this week.  What can I say… I want a jump on things.  Anyway, I’ll be posting much more frequently with smaller posts.

See you over at Blogger!

Who is the Real Bully?

today is a great day | I’m sure everyone heard the story of Nadin Khoury, the 13- year old bully victim, who garnered attention from the Eagles because he was attacked by a group of teenagers and hung on a fence by his coat.  As a parent of two children, I was highly appalled by the incident.  Every parent, at some point, faces the realization that it could happen to their child.  But what if you were the parent of the bully?

For the first time ever, my daughter was accused of being a bully.  Shocked, stunned, and disbelief were my immediate reactions.  If my children are accused of something, I want to hear all sides so that if my kids are at fault, I can correct it immediately.  “Bully” is a strong word, so before you use it, make sure you can back it up because I’m gonna check… and check good.  After all, you’re saying my child physically or mentally hurt someone weaker, which is a no-no in my book and constitutes disciplinary action.

The woman who accused my daughter of being a bully is, in fact, the same woman who complimented me on both my kids and their behavior and said she was so happy her daughter, “Susie” has someone to play with.  Huh? That statement should have projected a red flag in my mind immediately.  But instead, it went over my head.

Susie is 8.  She met my children a month ago.  You mean to tell me she had no one to play with until my children came along?  Hhmmm… “I wonder why?”, is what I should’ve asked myself.

Susie’s mom seemed to be a nice lady.  We exchanged phone numbers.  Why not?  I’m always open to new friendships, especially other moms.  So one day, she calls me up and asks me if I can watch Susie for an hour or two.  “Sure, no problem at all.”  They all play together anyway.  So her mom drops her off and oh boy… let’s just say she was a handful and her mother couldn’t have come a minute sooner!

Here’s one of my parent rules:  Do not get involved in minor kid drama. Kids play and get mad at each other all the time and say they aren’t friends anymore.  The next day, they’ve made up and are playing again.  It would be silly for me to react everytime time my child comes and tells me, her friend did something she didn’t like.  Our conversations regarding kid drama normally go like this:

My child: “Mommy, we were playing jump rope and ‘Taylor’ didn’t let me go first.”
Me: “Did you get a turn to jump?”
My child: “Yeah, but…”
Me: “Go wash your hands for dinner.”

My child: “Mommy, ‘Sarah’ said she wasn’t going to play with me anymore.”
Me: “Okay, well find someone else to play with.  Now go wash your hands for dinner.”

My child: “Mommy, ‘Patty’ told ‘Carlos’ I liked him.  I can’t believe she said that!”
Me: “You can’t control other people’s actions or what they say, but always be conscious of your actions and what you say.  Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want anybody to say to you.  Now go wash your hands for dinner.”

My child: “Mommy, ‘Kevin’ said my shoes were ugly!”
Me: “You know your shoes aren’t ugly.  When people say negative things, don’t engage in conversation with them. Ignore them or tell the teacher.  Now go wash your hands for dinner.”

I’m not a mom who thinks my children are perfect.  Angels… yes.  Perfect angels… no.  But, just because you’re (or suppose to be) an adult, doesn’t mean I’m only taking your word either.  Especially if, based on past actions, you aren’t credible or a bit absent-minded to begin with (but that’s a different story).  It’s sad how some adults always blame kids for their mishaps and premature senility.

Anyway, if something constitutes immediate correction, then I’ll go to the child’s parent or a teacher, whichever is applicable.

So let’s fast forward about a week.  My girls and Susie are all playing together.  According to my daughter, Susie is being loud, pulling on her arm and is scratching her because of her nails.  My daughter yells at her to stop it and says she’s not playing with her anymore.  Susie starts crying.  Susie’s mom walks in the room and asks Susie why is she crying.  Susie tells her my daughter is being mean to her.  Susie’s mom turns to my daughter and viciously calls her a bully.  Hence the pic on the left is how her expression was described to me.  My daughter tells Susie’s mom, “No I’m not, she was scratching me and I told her I wasn’t playing with her anymore.”  Susie’s mom says, with pen in hand pointed at my daughter’s face, “Yes you are and I don’t want you playing with Susie again.”  Now mind you, Susie’s mom saw me after this incident took place and said absolutely nothing to me about it.

In my opinion, anytime a parent feels another child is being mean, go directly to the parent… immediately.  My first reaction would have been to tell the child, “Stop being mean.  If you can’t play nice, then don’t play at all. There should be no scratching and no yelling.  Period.  Now where is your mother so I can talk to her?”

In our case, Susie’s mom did us a huge favor.  Based on some other occurrences, my parent radar peaked “trouble” with Susie and “screws loose” with her mother.  So her mom saying she didn’t want her daughter playing with mine, suited me just fine.

However, the simple fact that you approached and intimidated my child (and saying nothing to me) leads me to wonder… who was the real bully?

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Twitter Fritters

today is a great day | I admit.  After noticing the abatement of my followers yesterday, I spent an hour scrolling through the list to see who could’ve unfollowed me.  Insane, right?  Ask any group of twitterers if they’re bothered by the big U (as in Unfollowed) and 90% will tell you hell no.  But then there’s 10% who seek twitter therapy because they’ve gotten the big U.  Yes, I admit, I needed therapy yesterday because I was… UNfollowed by a twitter fritter!

Comic Source: joyoftech.com

My twitter therapist, Dr. Getemback, suggested I oust those twitter fritters on Twitter.  So I politely tweeted to one fritter:

So funny how some tweeps say, ‘I followed u, follow me back’. U follow back and a week later they quietly unfollow. I see you o_o @xxxxx

Ha!  Boy did that feel good.  Since I’m an upfront and honest person, I frequently tweet:

If you don’t like my tweets, call 1-888-KISS-MY-MELANIN-A$$, then press 0 for the operator.

In part, I wanted to write this post because so many of my friends, on/off Facebook, are blithely unaware of the party over in the Twitterverse.  Bless your hearts.  Y’all tardy for the party as Kim (#RHOA) so eloquently sang like a wild banshee, I mean performer to a live audience. (Not sure if the audience was still alive after the performance though.)

Sorry for the digression, but damn… I could totally get a recording contract!

If you haven’t considered cheating on Facebook with Twitter, maybe I can persuade you to have a mental affair.  As it turns out, you are one fascinating S-O-B, and people, particularly me, want to know what the hell you’re doing.  No, I don’t want a long a$$ Facebook post where you’re probably expecting a comment.  140 characters are all I need due to my diminutive attention span.  Yes, I want to know what you’re cooking for dinner.  Maybe I can get some ideas.  I want to know if your kids are as bad or quirky as mine.  I want to know what enlightening book you stumbled upon.  What’s your perspective on the GOP, H. Mubarak, the UN’s plan to stabilize population growth, or the so-called CJD brain disease… Tell me dammit!

Aside from my picking your brain, I like the fact that Twitter is not cluttered with games, groups, events and aaaaaaaadddds galore.   Twitter is like lean meat with no fat.  (I’m on a bit of a diet.)  And talk about viral!  If you want something spread at the speed of light, broadcast it into the twitterverse.  If it’s something of value, tweeps will retweet to their friends.

And I can’t forget my crash course on shorthand (RT – retweet; OH – overheard; DM – direct message; BTW – by the way; IRL – in real life; F2F – face to face; IMHO – in my honest opinion; B/C – because; LMK – let me know, etc.).  I could type for days on how cool Twitter is minus the fritters, but I as I type this, I’m missing what’s going on in the twitterverse.

Just remember to abide by these 10 Rules of Twitter because it’s no fun tweeting to air:

  1. Watch your ratio. If only a few people follow you, but you follow hundreds or thousands, tweeps will think you’re a loser, or worse… a spammer.  Think, ‘annoying telemarketer’.
  2. Don’t drink and tweet. That’s like having a car crash with every driver on the east coast at one time instead of just running into one.
  3. Pause between tweets. If you don’t, you’ll be the only one showing up on your follower’s timeline.  You ain’t the only person they want to hear from.
  4. Keep small conversations, that are not generally applicable, private by direct messaging them. If I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, say that sh*t in private.
  5. Remember everyone can hear you. This may seem rudimentary, but Twitter is a public medium, just like a blog.  People like your mother, your boss, and the government read tweets.  Don’t tweet you’re gonna use somebody’s kid on your taxes for the money. And just because you rob and steal, don’t tweet your bank robbery plans.  Think of tweets like ghosts that can haunt you if you’re not playing nice like Casper.
  6. What’s rude in life is rude on Twitter. Passive-aggressive tweets are never as inscrutable as the sender thinks. When you’re being mean, even covertly, eventually everyone figures out the target. And then they start firing the arrows back your way.
  7. Keep within the character limit. Although you can go over, don’t.  Most tweeps are too lazy to click on the link to read the rest of your tweet… that’s what Facebook is for.
  8. If you don’t like what someone continually tweets, don’t fret, just Unfollow. Let them get therapy.  Maybe my therapist’ cousin, Dr. GetUback can help them.
  9. Plug moderately. Lots of people ignore this guideline, but if you’re almost exclusively using Twitter to plug your blog posts, events, or products, you’ll lose some followers.  This is how I straddle the line between a good tweep and a pesky tweep.  My twitter name is @9PinkDiamonds.  That’s who I am.  That’s my brand.  That’s my blog’s name. #yup
  10. Don’t expect tweeps to answer your own questions. All tweets are prompted by the question “What are you doing?” Many people don’t answer the question, and others are religious about it, like Kim Kardashian.  (Oh by the way, plenty of folks get paid to tweet.)  Does it irritate people if you don’t answer the question? Sometimes. Should you give a rat’s a$$? Sometimes.

So there you have it.  Shall you need assistance with divorce filings from Facebook?  I hear the alimony is worth it.  Oh, and nevermind the twitter fritters as they can be cast away in the Bermuda Triangle.

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When an Office Romance is Over…

today is a great day | I liken office romance to spring time. Pussy willows greet our spring-starved eyes.  Our magnolia trees envelop our fragrant, pinkish-white blooms.  And what woman doesn’t like the thrill of a daffodil as it protrudes… with petals of course :).  A wink here, a wink there, and a little flirty flirt seems harmless, right?  Not to mention, since we’re floating on cloud 9, we’re actually happy to go to work and are even more productive.

Most people spend a third or more of their lives in the office or other places of work.  Is it any wonder office romance is rampant?  After all, it’s a non-threatening environment where we have an opportunity to meet potential dating partners.  Unlike a club, you don’t have to rely on first impressions, and, we all know folks can be a wee bit dishonest online.  In an office environment, you see the person every day and you can really get to know them.  So an office romance would be perfect, right?  Wrong!

Based on personal experience, I could easily sum this post up in one to two words: AWKWARD – QUIT.

I learned this lesson in my mid teens.  I used to work in the grocery store, replenishing the salad bar.  ‘He’ worked in the produce department, drove a Mercedes, and wore custom clothing on his days off.  He was fine.  And he had his eye on me.  For about 3 weeks, we flirted with each other.  Boy did I love going to work.  I would spend an inordinate amount of time laying out my outfit and coordinating the perfect accessories, and slathering my body with love potions and lotions.  Yes, it was that serious cuz that man’s swag was on point.

Then one day, he asked me out after work.  It was on and poppin’.  The next few weeks blossomed into a beautiful romance.  Then, it gradually started to fade.  I would go to work mad because the night before, we argued on the phone.  The roses I was once surprised with 3 times a week, all of a sudden stopped.  The text messages were not returned.  The winks and “accidental brush-ups behind me” were now being directed to the new girl on the register.   Not sure if my mind was playing tricks on me but I felt like everyone on the job knew of our romance.

Just like that, it was over.  No remnants.  I couldn’t stand him.  His swag seemed to turn to flab.  His confidence turned to arrogance.  What could I do?  He was closer with the manager than I was, so I couldn’t tell on him.  I was pissed.  Suddenly, working at the grocery store was unbearable… so I quit.  (Thank goodness it was just a lil summer job.  I could quit with no problem, as I was just a teen with absolutely no bills.)

So many people treat their jobs as their primary social outlet.  They hang out with the same people working in the same field.  Such incestuous relations are inevitably social dead ends.  In my opinion, office romance is just a recipe for disaster.

This YouTube video will shed some light on an office romance gone bad.  If not, it’s sure to give you a laugh…

Think twice before you go all goo goo ga ga over that fine specimen of a man/woman called your boss or co-worker.  Oh, and that goes for the janitor too!

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Money Monday: How to Overcome Poverty Consciousness

today is a great day | Okay, so I’ve decided Mondays will now be my “Money Monday” posts where I drop some knowledge, lessons, personal anti-climactic experiences and successes with the almighty dollar.  I’m currently doing research on the history of money and how it relates to blacks, esoterically.  I’ll try to post that next Monday.  But today, I wanted to shed some light on why the hell most people stay broke.

Have you wondered why people who win the lottery or make large sums of money go broke in record breaking times?  Well, generally, it’s because they have a poverty consciousness.  I personally know folks that will swear up and down, they do not have a poverty consciousness.  Of course, they know what it is, but are completely oblivious to the fact that they have it.

First off, poverty consciousness is the set of attitudes, beliefs, feelings, and values associated with material lack or fear of material lack, that has been ingrained in your subconscious mind over a period of time.  When this poverty is firmly planted into your subconscious, it becomes your reality… what you visually see around you, in the form of circumstances, events, etc.  If you follow me on twitter, I’m sure you’ve noticed I tweet a lot on the power of your subconscious mind.

“Prosperity is not just having things.
It is the consciousness that attracts the things.
Prosperity is a way of living and thinking,
and not just having money or things.
Poverty is a way of living and thinking,
and not just a lack of money or things.

—Eric Butterworth

It’s relatively easy to see if you have a poverty consciousness.  I’ve listed a few attitudes and beliefs below.  By no means is it an exhaustive list.  If you’ve ever said, believe, or remember your mama saying it day in, day out, then you have a poverty consciousness:

  • Money doesn’t grow on trees.
  • I’m poor, but at least I’m happy.
  • I can’t afford that.
  • You can’t have it all.
  • Be realistic.
  • Save, save, save!
  • You never know what will happen down the road.
  • Get a job. **looks for entry level position**
  • A penny saved is a penny earned.
  • Clean your plate. Don’t waste that food. Don’t you know there are starving people in the world!
  • A fool and his money…
  • Dag, some people have all the luck.
  • It’s always somebody in Utah, or some midwest state, winning the lottery.
  • Money can’t buy happiness.
  • Money can’t buy love.
  • Not everyone is meant to be rich.
  • You gotta have money to make money./It takes money to make money.
  • Rich people are unhappy.
  • Everybody in the world can’t be millionaires.
  • I don’t have to be a billionaire like Gates, I’ll be happy with a couple of thousand.
  • People with money are evil and wicked.
  • Now that he got money, he think he all that! SMH – Some people don’t need money.
  • You have to be smart to be rich.
  • I didn’t finish high school./I didn’t graduate from college.
  • I don’t have any rich friends.  Who’s gonna put me on?
  • Everyone can’t be a millionaire.
  • Money is the root of all evil.
  • Rich people are crooks.
  • Money corrupts the soul.

Hear ye, hear ye:  If you have parted your lips and said any of this, you have a poverty consciousness.  And, more often than not, your a$$ stay broke or you get money and it seems to evaporate… as soon as you get it.  I’m not pointing the finger, because I’ve been in the same boat.  Hell, even today, I have to consciously reiterate wealth and abundance affirmations to myself. [mental note to self: Don’t say “hell”, say “heaven”]

“Don’t wait for a new world order.  Instead, envision your world now with new eyes.”
-yours truly 🙂

I’ve noticed many people, including myself at times, lack the mental ability or wherewithal to hang in there during tough times. When you’re overwhelmed with credit card debt or the lights get cut off, Comcast turns the cable off, AT&T or Verizon cuts the cell phone off, internet gets cut off, no gas money for the car, or the rent is 5 days past due cuz you short $300, you forget you can control your thoughts.  I’ve read countless mind empowering books and they all make it seem so easy.  Not really.  It’s only easy when you are in a calm state of mind.  But right in the midst of adversity, that sh*t goes right out the window!  Sitting there worrying and panicking… except for those that say f*ck it and roll a blunt. LOL

“The mind in itself, in its own place, can make a hell out of heaven and heaven out of hell.”
-John Milton (whoever he is)

Because I have been in dire straits before, I was determined to figure out a way to turn my poverty consciousness into a prosperity consciousness.  It’s still a work in progress.  After all, I had it for the first 25 years of my life and like all habits, it takes time to reverse.  I made a simple 3-step process that worked and continues to work for me.  And yes, I’m gonna toot my own horn, “toot, toot”  🙂 #donthate

The first step in changing your poverty consciousness into an abundant consciousness is to first admit you have a poverty consciousness.  You won’t be able to change it, if you stay in denial.  Trust me, I know.  It just prolongs the process.

The second step is to challenge or zap those poverty beliefs you’ve had since you were a child.  I’m going to take the poverty beliefs I listed above and show you exactly how to zap them.  Remember, challenge these beliefs EVERY day.

  • Money doesn’t grow on trees. <—[Yes it does, sort of. The bark goes through a process to make paper. Money is paper. So money comes from trees. Say to yourself, “There’s always plenty of money. It grows on trees! Go]
  • I’m poor, but at least I’m happy. <—[Are you really happy? No you’re not! You’re just trying to psych yourself out.  And you know it’s not working.  Say to yourself, “I’m rich, happy and lovin’ it baby!”]
  • I can’t afford that. <—[No you can’t because you said it.  You don’t know you’re powerful, huh?  You can simply “speak” anything into existence.  Life and death can be in the tongue. You obviously can’t fathom this much power, which is probably why you say dumb stuff???  Say to yourself, “I CAN afford it. I’ll just be back later for it.”]
  • You can’t have it all. <—[Who said that? You believed them? You’re a silly rabbit.  Whoever told you that tricked you, so they can sit back and laugh at you make do with so little.  It’s just a game to them and you are the pawn. Wake up.  Say to yourself, “I can have whatever I want. There’s plenty to go around.”]
  • Be realistic. <—[Realistic?  You mean aware or acceptance of reality? Remember, everyone has their own reality which you have nothing to do with.  When someone says that to you, they want you to function in their perceived reality. Be “realistic” for yourself, not someone else.  Say to yourself, “I can really make this happen in my reality, realistically.”]
  • Save, save, save! <—[No. No. No. This is not the way to put money up for a rainy day.  This mentality of “save, save, save” comes from a scarcity mindset… needing to save for fear something will run out.  “Oh noooooo, hoard everything. We won’t have anything for the future if we don’t save!”  #Stopit. #SillyRabbit.  Say to yourself, constantly, “I have so much there’s always so much left over for days ahead!”  This is how you want to approach having money always, from an abundance mindset, not a scarcity one. Big difference.]
  • You never know what will happen down the road. <—[No one does.  Grow up.  Say to yourself, “Today is such a great present.  Everyday is a great present.”  No one, rich or poor, knows what will happen down the road.  If each day is great, and you plant that into your subconscious, you won’t even worry about “down the road”. #realtalk]
  • Get a job. **looks for entry level position** <—[Oh gosh, I think everyone knows how I feel about a job… indentured servitude.  By looking for a job to pay your bills, you are telling your subconscious, “don’t use your infinite power to create abundance for me, I want to be limited with just a little bit, please.”  And your subconscious will much oblige you.  Say to yourself, “My subconscious is a storehouse of wealth. I use my innate talents to create unlimited cash flow.”]
  • A penny saved is a penny earned. <—[You will be much obliged. Your subconscious will create circumstances where you’ll only be able to save pennies after working so hard for them, you silly rabbit!  Say to yourself, “A million saved is a million earned.”  Wouldn’t you rather work for millions than for pennies?]
  • Clean your plate. Don’t waste that food. Don’t you know there are starving people in the world!  <—[Here we go again with the scarcity mindset.  You don’t have to clean your plate.  Eat until your satisfied, if it’s some left, put it in the fridge or throw it away.  You cleaning your plate is not going to make anyone any difference.  You’re not helping someone who’s starving by cleaning your plate, you’re only telling your subconscious mind, “There’s no abundance because others are starving.”  If you’re that concerned with starving folks, go volunteer to feed the hungry and say to yourself, “There is always so much food for everybody.”]
  • A fool and his money…  <—[Me thinks you’re a fool if you don’t want money.  After all, it’s used as the medium of exchange in our society.]
  • Dag, some people have all the luck. <—[Instead of sending your energy over to those people, try redirecting it back to you.  Say to yourself, “Ha! I have all the luck. How you like me now biatch?!”]
  • It’s always somebody in Utah, or some midwest state, winning the lottery. <—[Did your a$$ buy a ticket? No? Well shut up! Buy a ticket and you might win.]
  • Money can’t buy happiness. <—[Let the bank mysteriously deposit $4,874,472 into your bank account.  Let me guess, you’re going to be miserable right?  Don’t be a schmuck!  You’ll be happy you can do whatever you always wanted to do.]
  • Money can’t buy love. <—[But you can sure have fun trying! Eventually, the right one will come along.  Love has nothing to do with money.  Say to yourself, “I love myself.” Love attracts love.]
  • Not everyone is meant to be rich. <—[That’s what some want you to think.  Remember, ‘they’ think of you as pawns.  It wouldn’t be any fun for them if you were happy and living your life in abundance.  Who would entertain them and make them laugh? OF COURSE YOU WERE MEANT TO BE RICH.  The universe IS endlessly abundant.  If it’s endlessly abundant, you can be rich.  Your choice.]
  • You gotta have money to make money./It takes money to make money. <—[No, no you don’t.  I had no money before and walked a dog and got paid.  Even grew it in to a credible, professional luxury concierge service for dogs.  Don’t laugh.  There are some ‘folks’ who treat their dogs better than their kids or equally and pay hefty sums to professionals.  (I’m totally gonna write some “business-in-a-box” type e-books and sell them.  I’m the queen of making a business out of something!)   Anyway, the people who tell you it takes money to make money usually want you to buy something from them.  But who am I to knock the marketing hustle?]
  • Rich people are unhappy. <—[They’re not unhappy because they’re rich.  If they are unhappy it’s because karma is kicking their a$$.  Or, maybe they haven’t learned to love themselves.  Say to yourself, “I’m rich and happy. I so lovie meeeeeee!”]
  • Everybody in the world can’t be millionaires. <—[Why not? There’s an endless supply of money to go around.  It’s just paper… worthless at that.  It has perceived value, not real value. But hey, who am I to argue.  I’ll take it… in large quantities too, I might add.  It’s the medium of exchange… for now.  Say to yourself, “Wow, everybody can be millionaires. Even me!”]
  • I don’t have to be a billionaire like Gates, I’ll be happy with a couple of thousand. <—[And a couple of thousand you shall have.  Have you stopped to think, you said you’ll be happy with a couple of thousand and then you somehow get a couple of thousand.  Well, just say to yourself, “I’ll be happy with a billion or two.”  Maybe you’ll get millions LOL.]
  • People with money are evil and wicked. <—[Yeah, some are.  But, I know some broke minions that are evil and wicked too. Go figure.]
  • Now that he got money, he think he all that! SMH – Some people don’t need money. <—[No, you just jealous you didn’t get all that money.  #StopHating.  It may come to you too.]
  • You have to be smart to be rich. <—[It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to look around see what they can do to fill a void.  Hence, opportunities are abound.  Say to yourself, “Anybody can be rich, including me.”]
  • I didn’t finish high school./I didn’t graduate from college. <—[Do you not know there are a whole lot of people with doctorate degrees working a mediocre government job… some working fast food.  It. Does. Not. Matter.  Being educated in a school is not a prerequisite for being rich or having abundance.  Of course, some would like you to think that.  If they didn’t, who would give them money in the form of tuition payment???  I’m not knocking college… I graduated from college.  I’m just saying it’s not a prerequisite.  If that were the case, there would be no dropouts living life in the fab lane.  Wake up.]
  • I don’t have any rich friends.  Who’s gonna put me on? <—[Uhmmm… you!]
  • Money is the root of all evil. <—[No. Wicked people are the root of all evil.  How many times do I have to say, money is paper.  It has no power.  You have the power.]
  • Rich people are crooks. <—[Oh really?  I see more poor people robbing banks and stealing money than I see rich people doing it.  A crook is a crook.  It has nothing to do with money.  What you “think” about the money is the reason why you are stealing it. SMH.]
  • Money corrupts the soul. <—[No. #Stopit.  Your a$$ was already corrupted before you got money.  Money doesn’t have power.  It’s paper.  You have the power.]

The third step is to practice perspective in every situation.  In other words, change the way you interpret your circumstance, situations, and environments.  Always look for the positive and ignore the negative.  When in the midst of adversity, immediately focus your energy on the positive.  If you can’t do that immediately, be still and lay like broccoli. (“Lay like broccoli”  Remember that line from the movie Pretty Woman w/ Julia Roberts?)  Anyway, one of the universal laws is the law of polarity, which means everything has an opposite.  If something is bad, there is also good in it.  The next storm of life you encounter, remember however you respond to it will dictate the results that will come about.

So those are my 3 easy steps to leap from poverty to prosperity, subconsciously and consciously.  Share this with everyone who know.  When you share wealth, it comes back ten-fold. 😀

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Cheating: Does He (or She) Deserve a 2nd Chance?

today is a great day | Love.  What a powerful 4-letter word, l-o-v-e.  It can make you feel as if you’re on cloud nine.  It can create a heaven out of hell. It’s undoubtedly the epitome of human kindness, compassion, and… what we all crave, affection.  We never know where we’ll find it.  It rears its head in the strangest of places.  Sometimes, it blossoms from unsuspecting sources.  It’s been known to elude some and drown others.

But, one thing is for sure.  Once we find it, we don’t want to let it go.  After all, it made our heart beat a bit faster and put a little pep in our step.  So what should we do when our partner has cheated?  Shattering, tainting, or blemishing that perfect love you once shared.  Does that person deserve a second chance?

I’ve learned you can’t bury your head in the sand and pretend it didn’t happen.  Doing that retains the frame of the relationship, but kills your chances of lasting intimacy. And though it may preserve a lifestyle and financial situation, you’re left feeling empty and lonely on the inside.

If you confront it and forgive your partner, the cheating pattern returns, often with the same person, in different locations or with a new person, in the same location.  Ain’t that some sh*t?  Especially when you find out the person isn’t half the woman or man you are.  (Sorry about that last statement.)  I digress sometimes :-\.

Anyway, some people say, f**k it and leave.  They don’t care about piecing anything together.  But then strangely, they enter into another relationship where the same cheating pattern surfaces again.  Then you start to hear the, “men are dogs”; and, “f**k b*tches, they’re all the same.”

With regard to cheating, here are a few things I learned on my continuous journey of enlightenment:

  • Take some of the blame. It’s not all your partner’s fault.  Think about it… think back.  You put yourself in the situation to begin with, so take responsibility for it.  Be honest with yourself.  Were there warning signs that you chose to disregard?  Did you think he or she would change, once you got them under your spell?  Did you value certain factors like security above happiness?  What about money?  Were you blinded by the almighty dollar and a luxe lifestyle you couldn’t have otherwise provided for yourself?  The point is, did you ignore a truth that slapped you in the face?
  • Our American culture plays a huge part in people cheating on each other.  Everywhere you turn there are images of scantily-clad women and half-naked men, swinging their private parts all over the place.  I said to myself, the media perpetuates infidelity.  Why is it glamorized? I know the answer to this, but to put it lightly, there are some wicked, sick people running this world.  And their motto is to divide and conquer.  A classic strategy to keep the masses at bey and asleep.  When people come together as one, there is impenetrable power.  Can’t let that happen now can we?  And that’s all I’ll say on that.
  • Ladies, don’t bash me when I say this. **holds my shield up so I don’t get stoned** In order to populate the earth, we must reproduce. To do this, men must plant their sperm in the woman’s womb.  So by nature, the man and woman must come together.  It is nature because the man doesn’t even have to be sexually attracted to the woman.  He will always “rise” to the occasion.  This is meant to happen.  This in itself is how we reproduce and populate.  But somewhere along the line, a jealous woman screamed, “Cheater! I hate you!”.  LOL.  (j/k… sorta).  Just think about it.  A man can have sex with 50 different women at the same time and get each one pregnant (50 babies).  A woman, on the other hand,  has sex with 50 different men at the same time, but can only have one baby.  It’s not meant for the woman to sleep around. It’s not in her nature.  It’s not meant for her to do it.  Somewhere along the line, a man screamed, “You hoe! That’s not your job… it’s mine!” LOL (just kidding… sorta)  Men can also have sex with 50 different women and not be emotionally attached.  We, on the other hand, get all wrapped up in our feelings.  Now don’t get me wrong.  I don’t think it justifies a man’s infidelity.  A man just has to discipline himself… and make a personal commitment to restrain from his natural duty. (Like that’ll happen! #cantlayblame)  J/k… sorta.  Just imagine if men only stuck with one woman?  Would that serve the greater good? There’s some reason other cultures allow men to have 50 wives.  Moreover, could it be an all-knowing, all-seeing power, that’s so perfect, knew homosexuality, imprisonment, and war fatalities of men would run rampant in the human race.  Is it no wonder the ratio of women to men is 7:1, maybe more?    #justsayin
  • If you choose to give your partner a second chance, you have to approach the problem as a couple.  Doing this empowers the one who has been cheated on and gives him/her a sense of control.  Working together to fix the problem can bring back a sense of certainty or reassurance, which is important when trying to restore trust.
  • Candidly discuss the details of what happened.  I know it’s easy and preferable to keep all the details out, thinking that it will only lead to more problems.  No. No. No.  Concealing the details of the affair leads to lingering questions.  When those questions are not addressed, they will never go away and it’s nearly impossible not to dwell on the incident.  Revealing the truth can be painful, but it is necessary when trying to move forward.

Ultimately, whether or not you want to give your partner a second chance is your choice and yours alone.  The best advice you can get does not come from your friends or family.  It comes from you… that gut feeling we always ignore, so we can listen to someone else who doesn’t know what the hell they’re talking about.   Your intuition gives you insight.  Listen to it.  It knows what you do not.

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Ted Williams: Are We Missing the Point?

today is a great day | I am one of the millions of people across the world following the fascinating story of the homeless man, with the captivating, succulent, velvety voice.  Joyfully teary-eyed, indeed.  Here you have a well-spoken, educated man who had a promising job, wife, and children; but, fell on hard times.  No remnants of his past glory.  Homeless.  Alcoholic. Crackhead. Thief.   This scraggly man, a vessel of mercy, heralds a heartening message to the world…

This isn’t just “15 minutes of fame.”  This isn’t even about the individual Ted Williams.  Ted Williams represents ALL OF US…  Your next door neighbor who lost his job, fell behind in his mortgage, now on the brink of losing his home.  Your long lost friend that somehow ended up on the street prostituting.  Your friend’s friend that had to go into a shelter with her 5 kids.  The janitor in the building struggling trying to make ends meet to feed his family.  An abused child traveling between foster parents.  The countless Haitians who have been exploited.  Everyone in  the welfare line begrudgingly applying for food stamps and cash assistance.  The oppressed nations.

Could we all be ‘Ted Williams’?  Vying for answers to our problems in a world of limited, altered resources… wondering, “When will the agony end?”  “Has God forgotten me?”  “Is God too busy?”  “Am I praying the right way?”  “Why isn’t God answering me?”  “I need an answer God.  I’ve cried so much, my tear ducts are dry.  I can’t cry anymore.  I’m numb.  Tired of praying.”  “I. Give. Up.”  Indeed, are we ‘Ted Williams’?

After reading an article, by one of my Twitter friends, Alfred Edmond, Jr., entitled, Where’s the Real Help for Ted Williams? I asked myself, “Are we missing the point?”  Personally, I wouldn’t put my focus or energy into these points:

We’re taking Williams’ word for it that he’s been clean for more than two years. How did he achieve this? And what does he mean by clean?

Unless Williams has been regularly drug tested over the past two years, I don’t believe he is credible enough to be taken at his word.

What happens when he becomes frustrated with work or is confronted with the anger and resentment of his children? Or what happens when he gets the urge to relapse with a couple of hundred dollars, not just one or two bucks, in his pocket? Has Williams been equipped with the tools and support system he’ll need to avoid a devastating relapse—one sure to be reported on as aggressively as his phoenix-like rise from homelessness?

Williams has been granted a unique opportunity by virtue of Internet video exposure is a mere stroke of good fortune, nothing more, despite all of the media hype. Whether a true miracle ultimately results depends on what Williams does from here.

I respect everyone’s opinion. Though eloquently written, this just makes me wonder, are some of us missing the point?  If there is the slightest possibility that we are all ‘Ted Williams’ looking for answers, then we will definitely miss what God is glaringly telling our thirsty, apt ears.

So what is the point, you ask?  What is the message I’m talking about?  Whilst I don’t associate myself  with any commercialized denomination per se, I do believe in the power of God and good.  Through this vessel, Ted Williams, God just may be trying to tell you…

My dear children.  Appreciate the life I have given you.  Don’t take it for granted. Be appreciative in all that you can do and all that you have.   Life is an amazing gift… a present that has been given to you everyday.

For you are my children little gods and goddesses.  I know your suffering and your pain.  But like a father, you must be taught through experience.  Just as the land is covered with snow, I can blanket the land with blessings.  But you must first learn that you can not take it for granted.

When I say do unto others, as you would have them do unto you, realize what you put out will come back to you ten-fold.  My universal laws are real and are always at work, with or without you.  To live life in harmony, abundance, and peace, you must know my laws and apply them to your life.  Don’t think your situation can never change.  As in the law of polarity, everything works on a continuum.  There is an opposite to everything.  You can be a the bottom of the barrel, hit rock bottom.  It doesn’t matter because you CAN rise to the top.

Do you think I am a spoof as others would have you to believe?  A ghost in the sky cloaked in a white robe?  That is not me.  That is not how I work.  I work through people and my laws.

When you ask me for earthly riches, I can surely give it to you.  But in that process, you will know what it’s like to be poor.  Material things do not give you happiness and inner peace.  Those things are mere byproducts.  Have you not seen a rich person that is still so sad and depressed?  And you say to yourself, “They have all the money in the world.  Why are they so messed up?”  Stop being fooled my children.

When you ask me for courage, I give you the opportunity to build and strengthen your courage.  When you ask me to remove fear from your heart, I put your greatest fears right in front of you and move you, not around them, but through them.  When you ask me for a loving husband (or wife) who will treat you right, you must first go through the wrong boyfriends (girlfriends).  Why?  So that you’ll know when you have the right one.  You see it all the time, but take no notice of it.  The woman with a good man.  She treats him badly and you say to yourself, “OMG, she treats him like crap and he is a good man.  What is wrong with her?”  Or vice versa.  They are both learning a lesson.

Before I can heal your pain, you must endure it.  Yes, I know you want things when you want it.  But it’s my timing.  I am the Alpha and the Omega.  I see what you do not.

Your trials and tribulations are not punishment.  They are your growth experiences.  So just hold on.

You see this man right here?  Ted Williams is you.  And just as I picked him up and set him on solid ground, I will do the same for you.  Have you forgotten the story of Job?  Lest I remind you?

[Chapt. 8]
6 and if you are pure and live with integrity, he will surely rise up and restore your happy home.
7 And though you started with little, you will end with much.

20 “But look, God will not reject a person of integrity, nor will he lend a hand to the wicked.
21 He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.
22 Those who hate you will be clothed with shame, and the home of the wicked will be destroyed.”

Don’t you know I love you so much?  I will never leave you, nor forsake you.  And do you know why?  Because I am within you. You’ve been asking where I am.  Can I hear you.  Yes, I hear you.  I’ve always heard you.  I’ve been speaking to you, but some of you still refuse to shut out the noise and quiet yourself to hear me.  You couldn’t find me because you never thought to look…within.

I won’t put anything on you, you can’t handle, for I am with you always.  You have suffered for years, generation after generation.  I am here, have never left.  Take comfort in me now.  It is because I see and feel your pain and agony I am lifting this man up as my vessel for all to see and believe.  I can change things in the blink of an eye when you are ready.

You’ve been kept in the dark for so long, you couldn’t see your way out. I am waking up everybody.  I AM everlasting and powerful!  How wonderful life can be if you know the TRUTH, for that is the only thing that will set you free.

When I said the dead will arise, did you think I meant dead carcasses will miraculous come out of the grave?  No. I meant you.  The mentally dead… walking zombies.  But no more.

I know you’ve been programmed subliminally. Poisoned your own minds by thinking negatively, helping to create your condition.  Do you not know your thoughts and actions are powerful?!?

No more (mental) sleeping my children. I will see no more self-destruction.  For I am the truth and the light.  I AM the I am within.

It is time for the tail to become the head.  Lest I also remind you of Deuteronomy?

1…thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth: 2And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God. 6Blessed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and blessed shalt thou be when thou goest out. 12The LORD shall open unto thee his good treasure, the heaven to give the rain unto thy land in his season, and to bless all the work of thine hand: and thou shalt lend unto many nations, and thou shalt not borrow.  13And the LORD shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath

In my opinion, Ted Williams, a vessel, heralds this heartening message.  In fact, he seems to have Deuteronomy written all over him.  There are billions of people on this earth going through their own personal problems and most are looking for answers, relief, and fortitude.  If we are ‘Ted Williams’, wouldn’t it behoove us to take heed in this message?  The power of God, just may be trying to tell us something.

Is it ironic that Ted is a black man?  I don’t know.  I guess this message could be for any creed or color as it applies, but I must say, “Who has been more oppressed than the black man?”  None-the-less, we all have to wake up.  Don’t get distracted.  There’s a hunting game out here folks, and guess who’s the prey.  With that said, can either one of us afford to miss the point and not get this message?

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